The origin of “Trick or Treat” on Halloween is an interesting one. Apparently, the Celts, in an effort to keep evil spirits happy, would leave out food (treats). If, for any reason, they left nothing, the spirits would get upset and play “tricks” on the people. There was a time when I saw my divorce as just that, a treat that turned into a trick. Like many, it never dawned on me that my marriage would end. I knew it could end. I was a child of divorce but talk to me seven years ago and I would’ve been that Mrs. So and So saying, “I’m never getting a divorce.” That was a quick lesson in “Never say never.”
Remember when marital problems and divorce seemed like a thing that happened to “other” people? Do you remember seeing the divorce stats in this country and saying, “That’ll never be me.” Or did you say “I do” with a slight pause, figuring that you’d play this as trial by error? If it works, it works and if it doesn’t, you could always get out. But it didn’t quite work out that way, did it?
Looking back, I find it so peculiar that it only takes you $25 to get married (a marriage license) and a bare minimum of $10,000 to get out. Maybe people thought that $10,000 would make you think twice but what else is there to do about your marriage when you’ve done all you can do, begged, pleaded, cried, and, after ten or twenty years, it’s still the same?
I’ll tell you what you can do: CHOOSE YOU.
At the heart of CHOOSE YOU, Not Divorce is the core principle that while you cannot change your spouse, you can change you. All those years you spent trying to get your spouse to change, focusing on improving the “circumstances” in the hopes that a change in finance would lead to a shift in romance, it was a lesson, a BIG ONE.
To experience whole life change, the only person you are responsible for changing is you. That’s why this phenomenal coaching program is called CHOOSE YOU, Not Divorce! Divorce is not about choosing to not be married. No matter what you choose to do about your marriage (whether you stay or go), the decision should always be made after learning how to choose you first, how to make you and your needs a priority in your life. Only from that perspective can you make the right decision about your marriage.
Isn’t it time you choose you?
Order this phenomenal coaching program today!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Order Choose You, Not Divorce Today!
Your marriage may be rocky. Your relationship may have gone south. You may feel like you're living with a stranger but remember this: love doesn't leave; people choose to put love aside and let apathy and bitterness take its place.
It takes two to make a marriage work but only one to let it crumble. At the end of the day, you have one choice and one choice to make: choosing you so you have the strength, resolve, love and forgiveness necessary to move FORWARD.
Get unstuck! Order CHOOSE YOU, NOT DIVORCE! today!
This wonderful audio series/coaching package comes with the following:
* MP3 audio series "Choose You, Not Divorce!" (MP3 Series)
*Getting Beyond the Sex Starved Marriage: Rekindling Intimacy & Closeness in Your Relationship (MP3)
* "The Work" Worksheet and exercises
* "Before There Was an 'Us", There Was Me" - an amazing article
* one month of unlimited e-coaching
Cost: $29.96
Click on the PayPal link to order your copy today!
It takes two to make a marriage work but only one to let it crumble. At the end of the day, you have one choice and one choice to make: choosing you so you have the strength, resolve, love and forgiveness necessary to move FORWARD.
Get unstuck! Order CHOOSE YOU, NOT DIVORCE! today!
This wonderful audio series/coaching package comes with the following:
* MP3 audio series "Choose You, Not Divorce!" (MP3 Series)
*Getting Beyond the Sex Starved Marriage: Rekindling Intimacy & Closeness in Your Relationship (MP3)
* "The Work" Worksheet and exercises
* "Before There Was an 'Us", There Was Me" - an amazing article
* one month of unlimited e-coaching
Cost: $29.96
Click on the PayPal link to order your copy today!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
On the Verge of Divorce
Watch the powerful court scene out of the classic divorce drama "Kramer v. Kramer" shown above.
What do you notice? Two people who’d once been very much in love and very much committed to building a life together now sitting in a courtroom, in the ashes of their relationship, battling over the greatest gift they’d ever been given: their son.
How did they get here? What takes two people from love, respect, and passion to anger, disrespect, and apathy? Could anything have been done along the way to prevent this from ever even being a consideration?
A wise person once told me, “The key to a happy marriage is growing together and not growing apart.” With a 60% divorce rate, somehow, we, in this country, are not getting what that means. So how do you stay in a marriage when you feel disrespected, unloved, mistreated, trapped, hurt, and constantly filled with a sense of desperation to leave? What do you do when you live with someone who does nothing but criticize or complain? How do you move forward in a relationship when you’re growing and the other person isn’t? When do you say, “Enough is enough” and how do you walk away from something you promised you’d never leave?
The truth is if two people enter a marriage choosing themselves, honoring themselves, loving themselves, these same two people have the ability to fully and completely choose each other WITHOUT feeling like they are losing or sacrificing ANYTHING. It is when two people come together with the intention to “complete each other”, to fill in the gaps, to be someone they are not so the other person is happy that we wind up with a situation where people end up sacrificing themselves for the other person only to discover that no matter how much they give in or give up, it’s never enough.
You see, we like to win, men and women both and when one partner feels like no matter what they do, it’s never enough, there’s no winning and hence the relationship begins to die. How do you stop the process once it starts?
Click on the PayPal link to the right to order your copy of this powerful audio series!
What do you notice? Two people who’d once been very much in love and very much committed to building a life together now sitting in a courtroom, in the ashes of their relationship, battling over the greatest gift they’d ever been given: their son.
How did they get here? What takes two people from love, respect, and passion to anger, disrespect, and apathy? Could anything have been done along the way to prevent this from ever even being a consideration?
A wise person once told me, “The key to a happy marriage is growing together and not growing apart.” With a 60% divorce rate, somehow, we, in this country, are not getting what that means. So how do you stay in a marriage when you feel disrespected, unloved, mistreated, trapped, hurt, and constantly filled with a sense of desperation to leave? What do you do when you live with someone who does nothing but criticize or complain? How do you move forward in a relationship when you’re growing and the other person isn’t? When do you say, “Enough is enough” and how do you walk away from something you promised you’d never leave?
The truth is if two people enter a marriage choosing themselves, honoring themselves, loving themselves, these same two people have the ability to fully and completely choose each other WITHOUT feeling like they are losing or sacrificing ANYTHING. It is when two people come together with the intention to “complete each other”, to fill in the gaps, to be someone they are not so the other person is happy that we wind up with a situation where people end up sacrificing themselves for the other person only to discover that no matter how much they give in or give up, it’s never enough.
You see, we like to win, men and women both and when one partner feels like no matter what they do, it’s never enough, there’s no winning and hence the relationship begins to die. How do you stop the process once it starts?
Click on the PayPal link to the right to order your copy of this powerful audio series!
10 Wonderful Lessons I Learned Through Divorce
I truly believe that it is my having gone through a divorce that has given me the compassion and empathy to create programs like CHOOSE YOU, Not Divorce! that will result in saving many, many marriages but, more importantly, giving people the tools to make themselves a priority so they can be strong enough to make the RIGHT decision for them. If you know someone who's thinking about divorce or if you're contemplating divorce, order CHOOSE You, Not Divorce and give yourself the greatest gift you ever possibly could: the ability to love and be loved unconditionally, now and always. In the meantime, read the 10 Wonderful Lessons I learned through divorce. My hope is that you never have to learn them:)
Kassandra Vaughn, the ROI Coach
#1- You never fix a problem by condemning it
#2- Financial independence is the best choice while married and a required step once divorced; choose it early so you don't feel pressured to attain it later
#3- It takes 2 to make a marriage work but only one to watch it fall apart
#4- Your best strategy for filing for divorce is to marry the right person so you never have to
#5- To marry the right person the first time around, you have to be the right person BEFORE you meet them (we attract who we are; whole attracts whole; broken attracts broken)
#6- Love doesn't leave; the willingness to love is sent away
#7- Anyone who would rather control you than co-create with you isn't interested in a partnership; they've decided upon having a dictatorship
#8- Just because you get a divorce, it doesn't mean the relationship ends. There's no such thing as marriage amnesia.
#9- Regret, guilt, and shame have no place in relationships. All 3 require you to believe in a very big lie: that things should've gone or should go differently. The truth is that it's all perfect; everything happens for a reason
#10- Your ex-spouse has been and will always be one of your greatest life teachers. Respect and appreciate them for every opportunity you've been given to see exactly what you DON'T want.
Kassandra Vaughn, the ROI Coach
#1- You never fix a problem by condemning it
#2- Financial independence is the best choice while married and a required step once divorced; choose it early so you don't feel pressured to attain it later
#3- It takes 2 to make a marriage work but only one to watch it fall apart
#4- Your best strategy for filing for divorce is to marry the right person so you never have to
#5- To marry the right person the first time around, you have to be the right person BEFORE you meet them (we attract who we are; whole attracts whole; broken attracts broken)
#6- Love doesn't leave; the willingness to love is sent away
#7- Anyone who would rather control you than co-create with you isn't interested in a partnership; they've decided upon having a dictatorship
#8- Just because you get a divorce, it doesn't mean the relationship ends. There's no such thing as marriage amnesia.
#9- Regret, guilt, and shame have no place in relationships. All 3 require you to believe in a very big lie: that things should've gone or should go differently. The truth is that it's all perfect; everything happens for a reason
#10- Your ex-spouse has been and will always be one of your greatest life teachers. Respect and appreciate them for every opportunity you've been given to see exactly what you DON'T want.
Sign up for the FREE CHOOSE YOU! Newsletter & Receive a BONUS Exclusive!
The holidays are coming! Believe it or not, September's ending, October will go by quickly and we'll be right in the middle of Thanksgiving and Christmas. With the holidays can come a sense of rush, panic, and stress. Dealing with family, gifts, parties, time, kids, all of it can make one very anxious. And, yet, that's a choice. This year, I want you to CHOOSE differently. To encourage that, I'm offering everyone a BONUS exclusive. If you sign up for our FREE weekly CHOOSE YOU! newsletter (you can enter your email address to the left of the screen), you'll receive an exclusive report that will help you choose peace and tranquility rather than rush and anxiety: The Power of YES. Learn how to eradicate stress, anxiety, and panic; move yourself into a place of peace no matter what the situation. Get the secret strategies that make 3 words your guide through family drama and financial strain. Get the best newsletter on the planet dedicated completely to making YOU the priority! AND a BONUS exclusive focused on making this holiday season (and EVERY season) the best, most peaceful EVER! Don't miss out!
Kassandra Vaughn, the ROI Coach
Kassandra Vaughn, the ROI Coach
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